Observations on the 69th Annual Golden Globes

• Kate Winslet has usurped Cate Blanchett's place as the HBIC of playing depressed ladies from the past.

In her next picture, Winslet pays the first woman ever to receive
5 nuggets in her six-piece nugget Value-Meal. 

• Kelsey Grammer does three things right for me; playing Dr. Frasier Crane ( "I'm listening") in syndication, producing highly-glossed sitcoms starring beautiful black women and falling off of stages. To the best of my knowledge, Grammer's Golden Globe win this evening was for none of those things. 

• That ginger from Showtime's Homeland gives me a serious case of the heebie jeebies. Run for your life Claire Danes. 

Dear God... he heard us!

• Those Google Chrome commercials are so heartfelt and well-made. Too bad no one's checking for Google Plus... yet. 

• Am I missing much by not watching NBC's The Voice? If I had to guess, I'd probably say "no".

• They need to give Idris Elba and award for just being  Idris Elba. It seriously is a service he's doing for his friends here across the pond just being on American television. I mean the man is beyond fine. If his tears cured cancer I'd still never want to make him cry. I mean... that accent... o wow.

• Wait is that Brad Pitt? Move your big face out of his shot, Angie!

• The steely glare on Charlize Theron's face as she watched My Week with Marilyn's Michelle Williams accept her Golden Globe read like the following:

Chick, I acted with Marilyn Monroe (those J'Adore Dior ads are hella weird, no?) and you are no Marilyn!

            Major Shade reporting for duty!

• Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Did Joan Rivers and the rest of the Fashion Police crew pay you to wear that monstrosity of a prom dress? And the matchy-matchy eyeshadow? What would Giles say? 

Ew.

• Dear Bradley Cooper, 

         Just because you're dating Zoe Saldana does not require you to tan your face to the shade of Sidney Portier. Fall back. 

• The Hollywood Foreign Press recognizes Morgan Freeman with a Cecil B. Demille award and we at Vanity in Peril break out into a rousing rendition of the East Side High Alma Mater.

Will you be my pop-pop?

• Meryl Streep. You've been giving award-winning performances for over thirty years now. Must we really sit through you feigning surprise at winning a Golden Globe for your portrayal of Margaret Thatcher? I mean really. Did the dingo eat your dignity? But way-cool for shouting out Pariah. 

• Jane Fonda.

           Damn Grandma. How you doin'?

• And lastly, Ricky Gervais. I know the Brits don't exactly subscribe to our whiter than white and veneered to the nine line of thinking when it comes to dental care but seriously dude... your canines look like you're auditioning to play an extra in the next Twighlight movie. Cap those bad boys. 

---  Vanity in Peril