The Funniest Elephant in the Room...

   By now everyone knows that Patrice O'Neal passed away this week from complications of a stroke he suffered last month. This is of course sad news to everyone. He was one of my favorite comedians and ranked as my top five favorite comedians of the new generation. I loved his act. I loved his personality and the way he took serious subjects such as racial profiling and America's insistence that we are the best country in the world and reflected on them in such a way that the message was well received with a hearty belly laugh. He was only 41. As an overweight black male he lived to just about his life expectancy but the news of his death still stings like the dickens. Maybe you knew of him from his many appearances on various Comedy Central Roasts. Or maybe his guest spots on the Opie and Anthony show. Maybe you were familiar with his work on the first season of the Chappelle Show. One of my favorite Patrice moments can be found here from one of his many sharp and sardonic stand-up routines. The thing that I enjoyed most about him was his ability to be at the same time well informed and funny. It's hard to strike that balance without going too far in either direction and coming off as either aloof of the world's problems or condescending. O'Neal walked this tightrope very well and for that he reached the top echelon of new generation comedic legends in the like of Mitch Hedberg and Greg Giraldo. It's no surprise to me that at this level their work was mostly (and sadly) appreciated post-mortem.

Only one of these dudes was selling out stadiums. Yeah... you read that right.

The Rudest Peeps We Know

My bad, I totally thought you were Blake Griffin when I agreed to marry you.

  

   The other day while trying to pick out cheese in my local Wegmans another shopper made the common mistake of overshooting just how much space she had to get her cart (and her rather large badonkatrunk) through the aisle space without hitting another person. Now, admittedly, I was a bit dramatic about the wheel running over the back of my heel. Very rarely do I get to unleash my inner sassy black woman and make good christian tax-payers uneasy with my human beatbox impersonation.  I didn't need to go to the emergency room or anything drastic like that. It still ticked me off though because her apology did not cut the mustard. Instead of her tending to me immediately and making good with the common American use of the words "I'm sorry" little (big) Miss bla bla decided to keep on rolling by and turned back only once to utter the two words that I'm sure are what caused Bruce Banner to go all grrr arghhh in the first place: my bad 

What's that? This is your house? Well, my bad... that's
pretty much obvs.

Vanity in Peril Gets You Through Another Stay with the Inlaws...

And it begins.

Survive Thanksgiving in One Piece Holiday Coquito


Prep Time:

10 Min

Ready In:
However long it takes you to watch Season One of The Walking Dead while you daydream of different ways to dispose of your zombified in-laws during the zombie apocalypse.



Serves one (or five if you’re feeling particularly giving)



Ingredients

• 1/2 cup water

• 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

• 1 1/2 cup dark rum

• 2 (15 ounce) cans coconut milk

• 2 cinnamon sticks

• 1 pinch salt

• ½ cup of Columbian coffee

• 1 teaspoon of Robitussin (Or the store-brand. Hey, we’re in a recession)

Directions

1. Pour the water, milk, rum, coffee and coconut milk into a blender. Add the cinnamon and salt. Blend until well combined, then refrigerate overnight. Serve chilled at 4am hunched over your kitchen sink in your bathrobe as you sob aimlessly.

Happy Holidays!
 
 
---  Vanity in Peril