|It's probably cool to just celebrate with the one candle now.|
There are certain things that you do when you're younger that you can really only get away with when you're in your early twenties. Things like, binge drinking to the point of blacking out. It's funny when you're twenty-two and don't have the responsibility of kids and/or a full time gig to keep you home at night. Not so much when you're twenty seven, crouched down in the corner of your office with a wicked case of the whiskey shakes. Blacking out at thirty-five? Yeah dude... you're an alcoholic. Schedule that AA meeting up with your secretary like real quick. This is not a drill. Just take a look at this week's episode of Workaholics for further proof that some things are better left in the past. But taking a harsh look at one's Jesus juice consumption is only one of the things someone who's been staring at the wrong side of a quarter-life crisis needs to do before they can truly move forward into adulthood and start teaching the younger generation life lessons other than 'how to do the dougie'. In no particular order (because all of them are of equal importance) here's the VIP list of three things to cut out of your life before you go into early retirement:
- Stop deflecting compliments with self-deprecating humor!
- Stop pretending to be ignorant just to make the dummy you're speaking with feel adequate.
- Stop blaming your childhood (or lack thereof) for your shortcomings as an adult.
So that's all I've got for now. Did I leave anything out? What are some other behavioral patterns that we need to let die in our youth? The floor is yours.
--- Vanity in Peril