|Because a woman's work is never done!|
So there's been much hullabaloo and consternation about the state of the black woman lately. Or more specifically, the sad state of the lonely, sorry, undateable, unmarriable, uncouth black woman that has sites like Madamenoire and the Wall Street Journal alike in such an uproar. It's all a bunch of new millennium hyperbole if you ask me. There to make us feel uneasy and Tami Hoodrat Romanish. I even let it get me caught up in the bumrush, taking to my Facebook wall with constant updates about how we have to do better and all together going into def con 29 crisis mode. Truth is, black chicks are doing just fine, relatively speaking. So are brown chicks and white chicks for that matter. Yes, we still make 75 cents to every working man's dollar and yes women like Kim Kardashian still remain famous for reasons unbeknownst to me. But all in all, we are really kicking major butt when it comes to being awesome. In a conversation with a friend the other night, it was suggested that we assemble our own League of Extraordinary Gentlechicks. Much like the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic series, our purpose would be to fight crime, deliver justice and restore order to the empire. In addition to those lofty deeds, our league would be responsible for the following...
|She burns stuff up real good.|
Angela Bassett as Doriana Gray. With two feature length films in 2011 (Jumping the Broom and the Ryan Reynold's snoozefest, the Green Lantern) and a turn on Broadway this September opposite America's favorite yeller, Samuel L. Jackson, Basset is our pick for the role of the age defying vixen. Having just celebrated a birthday on the 16th of this month *, Bassett looks better than she did twenty years ago. She seems to be aging backwards and we'd put good money on the bet that she can still do the Anna May high-kicks from that What's Love Got To Do With It movie where she played a more convincing Tina Turner than Tina Turner. Ms. Doriana Gray would be responsible for isolating the gene in her DNA that solves that age old question: Does black crack? With the formula to true age defying technology, women across the globe could stop using Botox, getting collagen injections and pretty much put Loreal (and their super annoying Andi Mcdowell commercials) out of business. With 20 year olds, 40 yo and 60 yo women no longer feeling the need to compete with their younger counterparts, the sex can focus on the really important stuff: total world domination.
|Mmmmmm... space taco.|
|Talk about your two-way twister!|
Tia and Tamera Mowrey as Dr. Henrietta Jekyll and Ms. Edwina Hyde, respectively. Have you seen the twins new hit reality show on the Style network? If not, what are you waiting for?! It's everything Roundball Ratchets and that icky cast from the Jersey Shore wishes they could be. For those not in the know, it follows the lives of 90's child actresses, Tia and Tamera as they navigate adult responsibilities, one planning her dream wedding while the other goes through the joys and pains of her first pregnancy. I can't tell you which one does what, namely because I still can't figure out which one is Tia and who's Tamera but the show is good, good good without having to resort to being salacious, trashy or stereotypical. We bring these two to the League in the hopes that they will help to foster true and respectful discussion on race relations in the country. The offspring of an interracial union, the twins will be tasked with educating the country on the fact that whether black or white (or both) we are all just people, a topic that we (sadly) still need to reinforce some fifty years after the Freedom Riders set out on that fateful day.
|Walk like an Egyptian!|
... well that's all I have for now. Are there any glaring omissions to be found? Would you like to add Mrs. Obama to the mix as Rodina Skinner? What say ye? The floor is yours.
--- Vanity in Peril
* Maybe I'm a little biased because my own birthday just so happens to fall under the same month, but is it just me or do Leo women just happen to be the most awesomely kick-ass women on this planet? Sure, we can't take the credit for the fact that our parents decided to conceive us during the cold wintry months but with women like Basset, Madonna, Lucille Ball, Julia Child, JK Rowling and miss Jenny from the Block herself, it's starting to become apparent here that Leo women rock!