Your GF Wants to Enjoy Sports with You, Gentlemen.

Of course I didn't invite her to the game. That would be stupid.

  


   I consider myself to be a sportsfan. I also consider myself to be a girly-girl. I like fashion and makeup and music that goes unch unch unch. I know that those two classifications deem me completely unqualified to speak on anything that is sports related. Women are usually not factored into the sports-nut demographic. I believe most men don't even think women are qualified to have an opinion on sports. True, there are those women out there that don't know Bo about sports and don't care to know and you know what? That's okay. Different Strokes was more than just a t.v. show starring an adorable chocolate covered sour patch kid. It was a show about people with varying backgrounds and interests coming together and making it work anyway. (Or it was a show about how many times white America could "rescue" little black kids before MLK did a somersault in his grave. I'm not sure, I wasn't alive in the 70's and I heard people just didn't give a funk back then). Not all men enjoy vegging out on the couch every football Sunday. The fact is there is an increasingly expanding population of women out there who genuinely enjoy organized sports and we deserve a slow hand clap. We do so all while managing boobs, a career, dinner and a uterus (turns out, lotta upkeep.) Some of us even play a sport or two. Sure, my handling of the stick in my indoor hockey league will most likely never keep David Krejci up at night but I think you get my point when I tell you, women kick some major butt in sports.

We even have our own juiceheads. Nice...ahem...package...madame.

   Still it comes as no surprise to me that women still have a long way to go before we get the recognition and appreciation we deserve from the hairier sex. There are still men who will roll their eyes upon reading this post, claiming that women are just not built to understand the calculated plays and maneuvers the coaching staff offers game after game. And even as women are populating the stadiums, commentating during games and interviewing the players we still get no respect.  Even as we (gasp) broke the glass ceiling that was ESPN, there are still men who think women and sports are a deadly combination. Now to be fair, there are some things that we as women can do to lend more credibility to our cause. Including:

• Fix the WNBA

    Now before you label me one of those self-hating anti-feminist chicas that spends her days stuffing her bra and fluttering her eyelashes at men at the Applebees, let me just say this: When was the last time you watched a WNBA game? I'll wait. I don't entirely blame the league. There could be more promotion on the network's end and advertisers don't exactly seem to be clamoring for an opportunity to endorse these ladies. Or at least, not as much as they do the Lebrons and Amares of the world. But the most damaging thing that I see in the WNBA is a complete lack of theatrics when it comes to the game. The fans want to see 360's. I can't recall if I've EVER witnessed a slam dunk in the league. Why the heck not?! These broads are tall, these broads are athletic, these broads are...boring the life out of me. While one may argue that their male counterparts spend too much time grandstanding and not enough time playing good old fashioned basketball, the WNBA misses me yet again because they fail to entertain.

• Stop playing football in your lingerie

  
   I don't know when, where, why or how it became an idea that men would respect women who can play football as long as they do so in their La Perla and pull each other's hair. Being sexy is a wonderful thing. Being a tomboy is as well. Why must the two worlds always collide? If you want to be a bad ass female football, rugby, boxing or wrestling star, by all means seize the day! But please do it for the pure enjoyment of the sport. Not for the Maxim approval rating of some nameless, faceless stranger. These women make light of the hard work and true talent of so many female athletes who have made great strides and sacrifices for the fairer sex to be able to play on a (somewhat) level playing field. If you just want to show up and look cute, do us all a favor and just hold up the Round card and get out of the ring.

• Stop asking your man questions about the rules of the game while he is trying to watch it!!!

   This is just common sense, still so many women fail to follow this simple yet golden rule. Ladies, if you don't know the difference between a strike and a foul, the time to ask is not during game 4 of the World Series. With the upcoming lockouts in the NBA and NFL, why not take that downtime as an opportunity to read up on your sports trivia, watch some classic games online and ask a male friend to school you on all the little things that confuse (some) of us about the games our men love? And while we're on the subject of clueless women...

• Stop pretending to like sports just to please your man!!!

   Seriously...stop doing this. I'm sure you see it all the time. (Especially during football season) Some women think they can simply put on a bubblegum pink jersey and put their hair in pigtails and make themselves an instant sports fan. As if it were just another reason to play dress up. These women vary from your relatively harmless lady that comes to the Super Bowl party just to gossip with her girlfriends and babysit the nacho dip to the ever more prevalent faux- female sports fan out there that only imbibe in the hope of impressing a man or (better yet!) being impregnated by a player. These broads undermine each and every one of us and should be destroyed at all costs.

Before it's too laaa.. o nevermind.

   What is your theory on why women suck so badly at enjoying and understanding sports? Do we even need to try?