Movies to Ovulate To



50% of the women in this picture would rather be watching Ghostbusters



   Movies targeted towards women are vastly different than movies targeted towards men. The mere fact that movies targeted towards men are also said to be for the general audience speaks volumes to the differences that can be found in what, only for lack of a better term, can be classified as "chick flicks". For those who needed a reminder, even though women make up the majority of humans on the globe, we are still a minority and are therefore expected to assimilate our own beliefs and values to those of the majority--dudes. So in order for me as a woman to get along with most people I need to know my Revenge of the Nerds trivia as well as be able to recite the give her the shot scene from Terms of Endearment like my own wedding vows.  I can't really say that I mind though when you think of all the chick-flick empty calories they push on our plates these days. Most movies made by or for women fall into these generic cliché lines:

• Single working girl can't stop burning the midnight oil long enough to date though she so desperately wants a boy-friend and (in chick-flick time) soon to be fiance to take care of her. What is at the same time ridiculous and hilarious to me is the notion that these sad sap women have so little time to spend on finding Mr. Right but seem to have an endless amount of time to spend drinking Cosmos with their girlfriends while they complain about not having the time for love. If I have to see another tired movie like this starring whatever Jennifer Love Lopez Hudson Portman actress is available I'm going to kick a Puma-sized hole through my flatscreen.

Crap, and I  just set up the surround-sound.

• Middle-aged divorcé escapes to the old-country to drink wine and sleep with younger men with sexy accents. The simple fact is; most middle-aged women going through a divorce don't do this. They have those pesky little things called a job. Among other common responsibilities; kids, a mortgage and a gyno appointment on Thursday. They don't have time to spend six months in Positano drinking Travaglini Gettinara with some guy named Marco while they slowly peel back the layers of social awkwardness and sexual repression. Like most good people with common sense they get a bottle of YellowTail, order take out and have a good cry, then move on with it. I repeat: I do not want to see this movie again!



Unless of course you have any more films starring this guy. Then proceed as planned.

• Twenty-something modern girl moves heaven and earth in search of her dream guy while the true love of her life stands patiently in her shadow awaiting the day that she realizes he's anatomically correct. All I'll say about this is that this never happens. Speaking as a newly single twenty-something (the something part is classified), I have never seen this successfully happen. Sorry guys. All girls have two lists of guys in their lives. List A. is comprised of the men she has a romantic interest in and guys she actually dates. List B. is filled with all the rest; relatives, men she calls to help her move, gay bff's, her boss, etc etc. No matter how much good karma a man puts in in the List B. line, he'll never be converted from the minor league. Never. (Unless of course the women is staring at the wrong side of 40... then all bets are off.

I'll marry my uncle as long as the ring is big enough

   Now we don't want to make men feel left out here, as there are plenty of male movie cliché's that we could discuss here (and we will for another day) but the female focused movie genre needs a complete overhaul today. Where men are allowed to be funny, mysterious, brave and dangerous all while getting the girl at the end, women are relegated too often to playing the damsel in distress or worse--- the straight man. While the wolfpack is off getting into crazy antics and outlandish situations, the females in the cast are left to play the moody succubus, the buzz-kill soon to be wife and the prostitute with the heart of gold. I think we can do better. Way better. VIP pushes to see more movies like The Sweetest Thing and 2011's Bridesmaids, where women are allowed to play goofy, funny, smart and sexy all within one character.

  

   What are your thoughts? Do you think women will ever be seen as interesting enough to drive the plot of a film without having to play a one-dimensional character who's only purpose in life is finding her Prince Charming.


---  Vanity in Peril