We're Back--- July 2013

Vanity in Peril is Re-Launching July 2013!!!


Tell your friends... tell your ma... tell those two people at work that you don't even like. (You know the ones)


----Until We See You Again


VIP

Love Your Body: 2012 Poster Contest Winners: Category 4 Winner

Love Your Body: 2012 Poster Contest Winners: Category 4 Winner

Evoluer House Offers Summer Camp Program For Career-Minded Teens « CBS Philly

What has VIP been doing with our summer vacation? Well, this and watching True Blood.



Evoluer House Offers Summer Camp Program For Career-Minded Teens « CBS Philly

Much Ado About Nothing?

LOL cat is now pissed off about Timeline-cat.

   March 30th Facebook rolled out their new Timeline for all users. Whether you liked it or not, you were grandfathered into the new way of doing things in Zuckerberg-ville. Much to the consternation of a few of my friends... and the friends of my friends... and the friends of those friends... and before I knew it, Facebook had become more unreasonably negative than that time I was too lazy to change the channel on the Basketball Wives. Which I didn't really understand. See, the thing about Facebook for you and I (your average Joe user) is that Facebook is free. I don't pay to use Facebook. Not one dollar. Zero cents. Oh sure, there are those that say we pay and pay big when we log in and give Big Brother, Hussein Obama and whoever that man is behind the curtain that wants you to pay no attention to him the opportunity to snoop on us. All those likes and comments don't just live in a vacuum. That information is going somewhere and it's being used (probably) to the detriment of our entire society. Oh how the towers of Babel will crumble and all because Mary Smith in Tuscaloosa likes Tide with bleach alternative. Oh the humanity!

Way to ruin democracy, you strumpet!

   The fact that Facebook is free (and always will be, according to their front page) is only the second most important point, mind you...

*clears throat and gives what can best be described as a Rick Ross grunt as she jumps up on her soap box...

ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEJERKS: THE INFORMATION YOU GIVE UP ON FACEBOOK IS VOLUNTARY. YOUR USE OF FACEBOOK IS COMPLETELY VOLUNTARY. IT IS NOT A GOVERNMENT MANDATE! YOU ARE BY NO MEANS REQUIRED TO USE THIS POPULAR FORM OF SOCIAL MEDIA. IN FACT, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TURN YOUR COMPUTER ON. YOU CAN FADE BACK INTO THE ABYSS THAT IS NON-FACEBOOK LIVELIHOOD AND LIVE YOUR LIFE 100% TIMELINE FREE... or you can always rejoin MySpace.

Sure is lonely in there. Aint it, Tom?

  Look, I get it. Nobody likes change. I was kind of bugged out about the whole thing too when I first saw the beta version a few months ago. But then I decided to stop being a loser, nut up or shut up and give the dang thing a chance. And it's actually a cool enhancement to the site. It's not (as some of my friends have been shouting from the hot tin rooftops they apparently hang out on) a complete infringement on our rights as Americans. I could see being majorly steamed if your city decided to change all the roads and highways in your commute to work while you were sleeping. Our taxes dollars go toward those types of things and we should definitely have our say in things like that. But Facebook? Come on folks! And even while half of their users have been in an uproar about Facebook Timeline (even though it's been widely publicized, should have been anticipated and is very user-friendly) I get the slightest feeling that we've all somehow been here before. These protests seem familiar to me. Like that time when I was a kid and threatened to run away from home because I couldn't have cake for dinner. Where was I really going to go? I mean, what are these people really mad at any way? Timeline in no way disrupts the default page layout of the main page after a user logs in. Sure,the information on timeline is aggregated so that friends can search different milestones in your life with greater ease (and maybe embarrassment) but the information was stuff you already provided in the past anyway and users have the control over who can see what content with the simple click of a button. It may be a pain in the tuchus to have to go back and add certain levels of privacy on all your old posts but why weren't we thinking of that when we originally posted them, right? I don't buy how Timeline makes this any more of an issue than it already has been for people to get access to things from your past you may not want them to see. If someone wants to bad enough they are gonna find a way to get all up in your beeswax. Especially if you were so lax with your security settings that a simple click and drag unearths your deepest, darkest secrets.

Sure, blame the baby. Whose idea was it to put the cookies on the floor anyway, huh?

   I'm not even going to get into the narcissism we all must be experiencing to think that every one else has nothing better to do than to stroll down our memory lanes all day. After all, someone would actually have to go onto your profile page to see the new Timeline. I bet you most of these people who are complaining about this spend more time on their own Timeline than any of their friends and frenemies combined. To re-quote the Temptations movie and the hilarious Panama J over at VSB, Aint nobody coming to see you, Otis.  And that's the pickle, Tommy. All this fuss about who's stalking our Timeline page and the only people stalking it look strikingly similar to that dude/chick that meets us in the mirror ever morning. I say, let's dump the delusions of grandeur, up our privacy settings if we're all that worried and stop living like rotary phones in a smartphone world. Because the times, they are a' changing, baby!

Or we could just all jump to Tumblr.

---  Vanity in Peril

The Age of Whocareius

   Andy Warhol so eloquently stated that in the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. If reality television is any indication, I think ol' Andy boy was on to something. There is literally a reality show about every thing. EVERY SINGLE THING! There's only a matter of time before cameras start to follow you and I in our daily comings and goings. Is that a boom mic in my shower? Pretty soon, everyone is going to be on t.v. and then we'll have shows about people watching shows about people watching shows on t.v. Don't believe me? Here's the proof, pudding! There are currently two shows (2!) about hillbilly hand-fishing. I don't even need any other supporting documents to back my argument up, counsel. Case the eff closed. In fact...


---  Vanity in Peril

(just kidding)

 But in all seriousness folks, the simple fact that producers thought that only one show about toothless wonders grabbing gross catfish out of the murky waters of the Deep South was playing it too safe should serve as all the proof that we need that the end is near. Yes, upon realizing this fact I surmised that we have truly reached the end of days. Wait a sec... isn't there a show about people who are preparing for this very Apocalypse? Why yes there is, boys and girls! It's called Doomsday Preppers (on NatGeo) and the "cast members" seem to have the combined SAT scores of a bowl of room temperature ice cubes. We should have been better prepared for this complete saturation of reality t.v. Heck, back when CT was still just a Real World cast member with severe rage issues, who woulda thunk it? Not me I say! But Andy... o Andy! He warned us. And the only thing worse than all this reality t.v. ruining entertainment (not to mention our personal baramoters on what is crap versus what is worthwhile to pay attention to) is that fact that it seems now reality icons are in on the joke. It's Skynet all over again people! These vapid reality stars have gained awareness! Now we have cross over, super meta concepts like Long Island Medium and Shas of Sunset. And as if that wasn't bad enough, these next crop of reality shows to fill the spring/summer season should really get your tush working on that bunker. Save me a spot, por favor? :)


 America's Next Top Bottom

   Forget Tyra. Forget Ru. America's latest sensation will be about finding the next great butt model. (get it?) But don't send in those back shots (rim-shot) just yet. We're not just looking for the person with the loveliest of lady lumps. To claim victory, contestants must also bring to the table the ability to... well... bring it to the table. Or put it on the glass, to be more accurate. Season highlights include a challenge to see who can create their own name-brand low-rise jean with built in thong  (with guest judge, Trina!), fun with body paint and a wall canvas and a lip sync for your life that you've got to see to believe. Hint: if you're a fan of ventriloquist acts where the dummy sings while the performer drinks a glass of water then this show is for you!

Our anacondas don't want none.

 Amazing Mace

   Jeff Probst hosts this nail-biting new live-action reality adventure where ten teams of two are brought together to see which couple can make it cross country in the fastest time while being simultaneously maced in the face by a team of riled up NYPD officers who think they are there to break up an Occupy Oakland sit-in. Watch for the laughter, the drama and the tears.

Try making it to the Mall of America now you hippies!

 This is How We Did It!


  This Summer, come watch as cameras follow mid-nineties sorta-celebrity Montell Jordan as he tries to relive those two weeks in 1995 when he was famous with a comeback tour. Comedy ensues as Mr. Jordan and that one chick from Brownstone try and revive his career. 

Are you sure you're not the guy that played Waldo on Family Matters?

---  Vanity in Peril